You just never know.
Thanks to my brother for this gem.
Tonight while walking Natty in the park, I inadvertently filmed my first viral video. Enjoy.
Attention Viagra, Cialis and Hooters. You’ve officially missed your opportunity to sponsor the world’s largest erection.
Kids are pretty dumb. I remember growing up, kids used to say “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
How come no one ever thought to reply, “I think you’re a beautiful person?”
Someone told me that I curse like a sailor.
How come sailors are the ones who get pegged as cursers?
All of the sailors that I know drive beamers and wear L.L. Bean.
I think the saying should be, “you curse like David Mamet.”
I walked into the bathroom at the Daily Grind and washed my hands.
I turned off the sink, stepped over to the paper towel dispenser and waved my hand in front of it.
I waved at it again.
A man never feels more humbled than the moment he realizes that he’s been waving at a manual paper towel dispenser.