Last week the laundry situation got out of control. Code-red out of control. Dirties shot out of the hamper like a pan that’s been loaded with too much popcorn. The wicker lid clung to the top of the clothes for dear life.
Something had to be done.
Walk a mile in my underpants
Humor, Travel, Food, Photography and Musings by Brian Eden
Category Archives: Humor
The City that Reeds
A few weeks ago, The Daily Grind repainted the walls in the men’s room. Thus creating a blank slate for public discourse.
It didn’t take long for the first opinion to appear.
“Fuck-a-Hindu.” It stated.
Not surprisingly, someone disagreed.
“Fuck weak athiest hate banter,” he rebutted.
The next day, another urinator added to the conversation. He drew an arrow to the word “athiest” and corrected:
“It’s spelled ATHEIST.”
He underlined the word for emphasis. An unspoken “you idiot.”
With that, I thought the conversation was over. And it was, for about a week.
But this morning, someone else threw in his two cents. He drew an arrow to the spelling correction and wrote:
“Who fucking cares you pretentious ass whipe?!”
This is why I love the Daily Grind.
Savannah, GA
In refreshing contrast to I-95, Route 17 through the South Carolina Lowcountry is a very scenic drive. The highway skims through salt marshes and lush forests that seem to grow straight out of the water. Continue reading
The Bar is High
I went to use the men’s room yesterday.
While I was standing there, I looked down.
There was a logo on the toilet.
It said “American Standard.”
And I thought, “That’s more fitting than they realize.”
Why I'm Fasting
Today is Yom Kippur. And so on this, The Day of Atonement, I ask for forgiveness for my sins oh Lord.
You might want to sit down.
For starters, I skipped synagogue on Rosh Hashannah. So I should definitely apologize for that. It was VERY wrong to ditch Temple in order to go to the Virgin Music Festival at Pimlico Race Course. I should’ve spent the day listening to the Shofar. Not The Flaming Lips, The Killers and The New Pornographers.
Scenes From a Saturday Night
I took Natty for a walk to Fells Point tonight.
She pooped.
I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a wadded plastic grocery bag.
Placing my hand inside the bag, I bent down and grabbed the poop.
I pulled the bag inside out and tied the handles shut.
On the outside of the bag, it said “THANK YOU HAVE A NICE DAY.”
This is my life.
The Long and Boring Road
This is Natty at 8:00am. Excited. Bright eyed. Totally pumped to go for a ride in the car. Continue reading
I'm #1
Today, I’m ecstatic to report that I’ve achieved my life-long goal:
To become the #1 ranked Brian Eden on Google.
Go ahead. Try it.
It doesn’t matter if you put it in quotes or not.
Either way, I’m #1.
This is no small accomplishment. It’s not like my name is Borat Colonoscopopolos. Or Mik D. Manulik.
There are truckloads of other Brian Edens out there, jockeying for first place. (No pun intended, Brian Eden, director of the Sioux Falls Trucking Association).
The Sky is Falling. Seriously.
I was about to sit down on my hammock on the roof deck yesterday. But something caught my eye.
“Is that what I think it is?”
Kayak for a Cause VI – The Big Day!
You’re reading this because I didn’t die.
Continue reading
Walk a mile in my underpants 